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May 25, 2011

Tantrums: Phase 1 and phase 2

Ah, the toddler phase. We are just starting it with Charlotte, and wow, it promises to be hard. I can't believe she used to be such an easy baby before. I guess she saved all her energy for her tantrum phase. From what I understand (and I am still learning a lot about this parenting thing, so don't hold me to this), tantrums happen when a toddler is trying to do or communicate something, and they are not able to get to what they want, and they can't manage the frustration any other way.

Poor Charlotte is trying to much to do like her big brother, but she is not able do (either physically or because we don't let her play with toys that are not for her). She gets so frustrated so easily these days, and she really does the whole rolling on the floor thing... Fun times! I can't remember Daniel's tantrums to start that early and to be that dramatic. Maybe the fact that Charlotte gets a lot more inspiration for things she would want (from looking at Daniel), and less attention from us contributes to a more intense phase. Or maybe it's just character, the same way she started as an easy baby. Anyways, hopefully just a phase.

Sadly, Daniel is on his own tantrum phase 2.
I don't know if it would still be called tantrums at this age, but they have the same effect on me: exhausting. Daniel's phase involves trying to push the limits with words. If he wants something, he will repeat "I want it, I want it" forever. He isn't interested in listening why this particular wish might not be possible, and what alternatives we might be able to find. No, he just keeps on, not accepting our arguments. For instance: "no, mama, it's not a school day today, I want to stay home... I want to stay home. No, mama, we don't need to go to the car. I want to stay home..." One night, he cried for one hour for not being able to go to his friend's house right that minute, just repeating arguments along these lines, over and over.

Why did I brag about his maturity a few months ago? Was I talking about the same person?

I am amazed how the kids are able to coordinate their tantrums... Did they plan it all along? It makes for exhausting evenings. I was by myself with the 2 kids last night, and I couldn't wait for them to be in bed again. I needed the quiet after hearing cries and complaints from both of them for 3 hours. I know this will pass. But wow, this is challenging right now. Daniel's first tantrum phase went by very fast. Hopefully, Charlotte will follow the same pattern. Fingers crossed!

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